While doing laundry this morning, I froze after hanging up a crisp white blouse in the closet…I will never forget the shopping trip that resulted in that purchase. I remember the feeling I had in the dressing room as every single thing I tried on - FIT. I didn’t have to squeeze and pull and fear ripping seams as I took off things. It was a moment of liberation.
After months-and-months of authentic ass-kicking and lots of hard work - I lost a whole lot of weight, dropped down from a size 16/18 to a size 8/10 and actually thoroughly enjoyed clothes shopping. It wasn’t just because I skipped the goodies or sweat in the gym.
It was due to my legitimate motivation & willpower.
It’s the most important element for success in virtually anything you want to do. It’s free. It’s simple. It requires no handbook or tutorial. You either have it or you don’t.
In present time - I make healthy choices, I get around to exercising and I label myself as “healthy” in the way I navigate the world around me. I’ve lost 50+ lbs. I see old friends who comment on how much smaller I am, my “fat jeans” are still way too baggy. I wear my Nikes when I go hiking.
...But, let’s be real, lately I find myself skipping the workout I don’t feel like waking up for, staying up too late, and indulging in that slice of pizza. I’m all about letting myself enjoy these treats in moderation - but all the corners I’ve been cutting have been adding up.
I’ve allowed myself to live under the veil of health. The truth is that the lack of genuine motivation & willpower in my life is now way too apparent. I’ve been maintaining the same weight between 160-150lbs for the past several months.
I ask myself “what gives” and wonder why I haven’t been crushing the weight-loss game as much anymore. I proceed to lace up my running shoes, go do some cardio and then eat too much, drink too much, and do little other exercise for the next 5 days.
The determination and motivation I had lead me to lose 50+ pounds in one year has been replaced by a complacent and apathetic outlook. Not okay.
I’m making a conscious mental effort to regain the motivation & willpower that once came so easily to me.
In reality, it actually wasn’t easy for me to be motivated when I started working out. I remember walking through snow & wind to get to the gym. I will certainly never forget skipping yummy hot fast food in winter for flavorless celery. I experimented with greener, healthier foods that took time to enjoy. I did whatever I could with what I had to get exercise. I was happy when I saw the scale move from 207lbs to 205lbs and 196lbs to 185lbs. It just got easier as I saw more results. I was so happy.
When I hit the 160-ish plateau, it wasn’t as easy for the pounds to come off. It was much harder to see the numbers move. I got frustrated and less eager to go work out or have a strict diet.
All these things said - I know that moving forward with this commitment means that it will be really hard. Lots of hard work ahead of me. I accept the challenge.
And…writing all this honesty out makes me feel vulnerable, humble, intimidated, embarrassed and excited. I’m humbled to admit that I’m not where I want to be and that I’ve taken steps to widen the gap between me and my goals. I’m excited because I know I can reintroduce the ingredients for success in my life again.
When it doesn’t come naturally for you - what do you do to have the motivation & willpower you need to succeed? And, I’m sure if you’ve lost 50+ pounds, the last 20lbs are the hardest to lose - what did you do to push yourself harder?
