this diet diary

Dear Scale,

You don’t define me. But thanks for recognizing how consistently small my portions have been. I guess I also owe a lot of thanks to my zeroed out bank account, for allowing me to go without ample amounts of food for weeks.

Best Regards,

Farrah

progress is SLOW.

It’s slow, but it’s progress. I’ve also gotten a lot of feedbacks from fitblrs who actively DO NOT weigh themselves, and explain how it contributes to their success.

I don’t know why, but the scale DOES help my success. I think the biggest thing is making sure I don’t have emotionally charged reactions to the numbers. I think it helps me, especially as my lifestyle isn’t “set in stone” it is a work in progress. I am constantly working HARD to eat right. I have to work HARD to not snack at night, and still slip up. I have to DRAG myself to the gym. I feel that when those habits come easier, are more second-nature to me, and I’ve been on the right track for over a  year, I could use my scale as a tool less.

ugh, for real? 161.4? this is happening soooo slowly! I don’t know whether to call this a plateau or “Shitty September”

In the past with weight loss ventures, I’ve always let myself get discouraged from lack of progress. I would give it MY ALL for a week or three, and quit when I didn’t see pounds & inches shedding off me, get positive feedback or feel looser jeans.

I won’t let that happen again. I know that, even if I never lost another pound, my health is the most important thing — so that means I’ll continue to exercise regularly and eat live, healthy foods. I’ve already seen too much and know too much about how huge the impact of healthy foods & an active lifestyle is.  I’ve reversed ‘conditions’ my doctors tried to prescribe me Rxs for! It’s huge! It’s a holistic approach to being generally awesome & healthy. I KNOW it’s not just about inches, pounds or jeans.

But, ughh, for real?

I think part of what is difficult for me is that in my adult life I have never weighed under 170lbs. Isn’t that weird pathetic? Never. I believe I weighed around 170 (according to medical records from freshman year of college), so I now officially weigh less than I did as an 18 year old. Is my stalled weight loss because I mentally can’t grasp all this or something?

My goal is ultimately to be a healthy, realistic, active adult, weighing in around 135. I’ve never seen my adult body at that weight, so it’s hard for me to know what my goal should be. I’ve only based it off BMI & other online weight management tools — keyword: without any outside/credible evaluations from doctors/fitness experts. I know that the 160’s is definitely not for me, I know I can be better & do better. I just wish these last lbs were as easy as the first 30lbs!

/rant.

I know that it’s usually easier to lose the first ten than the last two, type of thing, but it’s still kind of getting old seeing this number.

I definitely want more high-intensity exercise in my daily regimes, and I really want to reevaluate my gym options. There aren’t many, I might just have to use the university elliptical equipment once in a while, even though it’s currently under construction and in a totally inconvenient location. Excuses are not ftw.

Might just make my goal to 150 next month, hopefully. Graduation pictures in less than four months!